Thursday, September 30, 2010

Have You Seen This?

So, wandering around Chapters the other day waiting for my preorder of Dead Rising 2 to be released (that is a story for another day, however, my 2 1/2 hour adventure to acquire Chuck Greene and his IJIEK racing bike), I stumbled upon several books that caught my eye. One had such an interesting title, I just HAD to give it a quick peruse:

If you've never heard of him before, Tucker Max represents everything that you hated about that Frat House near your University campus- drunken depravity, supreme douchebaggery, bad decisions and altogther un-Christianly conduct reign supreme in his second book, Assholes Finish First, coming right off the heels of his first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.

Really, only in America can a person publish not one, but two books about being a total and complete asshole to everyone around him (and get over a million people to buy them). Sexism, racism, alcoholism, pretty much whatever -ism you can think of are documented here with startlingly clarity. It really is an appalling book, when you take it out of context.

Yet, it's oddly intriguing... picking it up and reading through a bit just gives you an off taste in your mouth- but oddly, it makes you want to read more. There's something oddly satisfying about reading about the misadventures of the biggest asshole on the planet.

Have you seen/read either of his books? What do you think about Tucker Max, and his books?

Let me know! I'm interested to hear what you think.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Happy Birthday

This is a Happy Birthday post for my ex-girlfriend.

Before I start getting those looks, I'm not being creepy. We broke up 2 weeks ago (together for 3 years, messy details aside, we decided that we'd drifted apart so blah bleh blah etc. etc. but the gist of this is i'm still very much in love with her), so this is fresh enough to count as bittersweet, right?


Anyway, since I can't say it to your face, and leaving an anonymous birthday card under your windshield wiper is just a step up from stalking you, I'm going to post it on my internet blog that nobody reads. Passive aggressive? No, just cowardice.

So Happy Birthday;
I'm sorry we can't share this one together.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I hate retail.

More specifically, I hate used retail.

I work in a relatively big-name thrift store, that deals with all manner of used merchandise. About 70% of that is clothing, the rest split up between knicknacks, kitchen/bath accessories and toys.

Now, right off the bat, I don't hate thrift stores. I think they're an excellent idea- a place where people who have little to no cash can come and get things for 50%-80% off retail price (if you don't mind the fact that it's been worn/used/manhandled)? Excellent!

It's just unforunate that some of those people are the rudest, most disgusting, inconsiderate people in the world. Oh, sure, there's the occasional nice person. But honestly, it's really a 1 in 100 chance of seeing them. Instead, I get the people who rip tags off of things in front of me, and claim that it had no tag. Or, the people that scratch/dent/bang/rip/tear/stain items and then try to get a discount on them.
These are the people who yell and berate me right after I tell them no.

Every day, I think I've seen everything.

There was the day when one older gentleman (read: senile) just couldn't seem to control his bowels. Now, I'm not one to joke about IBS, as Irritable Bowel Syndrome affects so many lives, but when you're IN the bathroom and you're NEAR the toilet, must you shit on the floor, and the wall? Really?

Nobody can forget the guy who came in with a sportsbag, loaded it up with clothing and shit, and then made a mad dash for the front door, leaping on his bicycle and pedaling like there was no tomorrow (Dude, honestly, that was like $15 worth of stuff. Let the good times roll.).

Just recently we had someone ram their car into the sign outside of our donation room. The sign is right next to the door, and the guy made an extremely wide turn and nailed it.
Then burned rubber out of our parking lot.
Sad thing is, he's a regular and will probably be back next week.

If it were just the weirdos every once in a while,  I could deal with that- after all, variety is the spice of life, right? I'd have less blog fodder if I worked a nice, normal retail job.
It's the inconsiderateness.

I know I work in a thrift store. You don't have to remind me by shouting at me about how crappy the stuff looks, or saying, "Is this stuff USED?" and then throwing it on the floor when I say it is. We're not Macy's. That should be printed on our advertisements.
People seem to think that because our stuff is used, it's an excuse to treat everything like shit. People look at things, and drop them on the floor.

That dude in Men's Jeans you saw five minutes ago?
Yeah, he's torn down half of the rack and left it on the floor.

I WISH I was exaggerating.
We close at 9pm on weekdays and 6pm on weekends. On average, we don't get out of the store until 10pm/7pm most nights because of the sheer volume of cleaning we have to do.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Some days are better than others, and some days I do see really nice, really respectful customers.

It just saddens me that those days are like Christmas, with how little they seem to come around.
If I were a little more inclined, I would get up off my ass and try and change things,
but yet, here I sit.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Auto-Tune The News

Like most denizens of the internet, I spent copious amounts of time on YouTube, infringing on copyrights and laughing at things that 4th graders find funny.

So when a friend linked me to the series, "Auto-Tune The News", I was surprised that I'd never heard of it. It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

Click, enjoy. (The rest of them are in the links on YouTube.)

(P.S. This one's my favourite. )

Some random comics

Some random MSPaint comics I found floating around my harddrive.

Probably make them from time to time, just sort of a timekiller for me.

Friday, September 24, 2010

My Vidya Collection

Not really anything too exciting, just wanted to post pictures of the various video game consoles and games I've collected from friends, work, and just around.

First up: NES, SNES, N64, GCN, Wii, Sega Genesis, Sega CD, Dreamcast, Xbox, PS1, PS2

Next: 360 and PS3

Last: Games for various systems


Just about the greatest thing on the internet.

Dungeons and Dragons - The quest for a party to play Dungeons and Dragons

It should surprise nobody that I'm a pretty big nerd.

I own every video game console since the NES, with the exception of the obscure (inb4 cd-i). I have Star Wars posters and Force-FX lightsabers. My Bullet Bill tattoo is probably the best thing I have on my body, and that includes my penis.

Therefore, getting into D&D was the next logical step in my nerd-dom, and I promptly rushed out to the stores to pay ridiculous prices for the 4th Ed Player's Handbook, DM Guide and Monster Manual (yes, I know 4th ed sucks and yes I know I could have downloaded them). Nearly wetting my pants with excitement, I flipped through them.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING was what I had revolving around my head the second I closed the book, and the pitch I used when I immediately contacted my closest friends and began to pester them into joining me on my quests.

Three of my friends instantly said yes. I had two maybes and about sixty "No thanks, I actually like getting laid."'s. So, I promptly planned a game at my house a few nights later, with me stepping up to the task of DM (since nobody else wanted to buy the books, much less do the work of a DM). Four of my buddies came over, we set up our flagons of ale, brought out our broadswords made of cardboard, and had a blast.

Unfortunately, that was right at the end of the summer, and now that school has started, everyone works on the weekend. Between that and girlfriends/family, D&D has been firmly shelved.

Looks like I'll reach age 30 before my character hits level 30... though, I should probably be doing something better with my time than bitching about D&D... and yet, here I sit.

Welcome to And Yet, Here I Sit

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Everyone knows that quote, and if you don't, you should go to your local video store and immediately rent Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In fact, I think I'm going to pop it into the DVD player right now. 

Oh, Cameron, you silly sidekick.

Anyways, welcome to And Yet, Here I Sit, a blog/vlog/generally humorous website designed to examine the quirks in life, whether they happen to you, me, or people around us. Come on in, stay a while- you might find something amusing.

I find solace in the fact that at the end of the day, I pretty much always end up right where I started- in this same computer chair, staring at the same computer screen. 

Life moves pretty fast.
And yet, here I sit.